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LIFESTYLE COACHING NEAR ME

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 What is triggered in your brain when you fall in love?

What is triggered in your brain when you fall in love?

You meet the right person and the healthiest chemical storm ever is unleashed in the brain. A wave of well-being and energy that makes you look at the world with optimistic eyes.

What does falling in love do to your mind?

Those who have been there know: in the initial stage of falling in love, one lives in another dimension. It is as if the heart and mind are muffled, isolated from the rest of the world.

"There is a feeling of 'empty head,' one is constantly thinking about him or her. And the desire to always be together prevails over any commitment, " says Professor Fabrizio Quattrini, psychosexologist, president of the Italian Institute of Scientific Sexology in Rome and professor at the Faculty of Psychology at the University of L'Aquila.

In those days and months of strong heartbeat, one sees reality with different eyes. All the fault, indeed merit, of the chemical storm that happens to the body. "People in love are more helpful, they look at life more positively, they feel more energetic, " the professor continues. But unknowingly they deceive and mislead themselves. "That's right: they avoid as much as possible to see in the other the things that are wrong and to reveal their own flaws."

Read also: What happens to your body when you fall in love

It is mostly men who paint themselves as different from reality. According to research by psychologist Bella DePaulo of the University of Virginia, who has studied the pattern of little lies when in love, males tend to pass themselves off as better than they are. Women, on the other hand, lie mostly to make their partners feel better. "Having one's eyes 'lined' by this kind of love blindness prompts one to do totally new things, almost as if one changes character.

A rather cold man can become sweeter, an unempathetic woman can turn into a very good listener," Quattrini says. As with all "drugs," we repeat, the effects of falling in love are destined to wear off: "When, after a year at most, hormone levels return to what they used to be, the intoxication comes to an end.

How is true love formed?

At this point the authentic knowledge of the other person begins, which can finally turn into true love," Professor Quattrini continues. "It is at this moment, however, that the first major crisis can arise because one sees the partner as he or she really is. In short, falling in love is like a good hors d'oeuvre: you taste it, stimulate your senses, marvel at its goodness and begin to fantasize about the wonders of the next courses. And when the bill comes at the end of the emotional meal, you come back to reality. And there you decide whether to continue together."  

What is the purpose of meeting minutes?

The first look is the starting point for what will be a truly magnificent obsession. The thought of him or her becomes installed in the mind. And here begins the projection of our dreams: we are already certain that the other or the other is perfect and suitable for us.

After 5 months, passion is at its peak: you are strong and fearless

Time begins to pass too quickly in the company of our partner and is not shared with others. We feel more full of mental energy, every problem becomes smaller and more manageable, we are not afraid of anything.  

After one year: love is born

This is the most delicate moment; the couple is ready to move on to the next stage: love. However, some people confuse the end of the euphoria with the end of the feeling. But this is not necessarily the case.
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 Are you in love with a softboy? Here's how to figure it out




Sei innamorata di un softboy? Ecco come capirlo

You are tired of the "beautiful and damned" who break your heart and never commit. Luckily, you've found a nice, sweet partner. Are you sure he's not a softboy? Here's what he is and why you shouldn't trust him
  • What is a softboy
  • He criticizes his ex
  • The softboy tells you he is an artist
  • He makes you feel like a monster if you get mad at him
  • The softboy is a pseudo-romantic
  • He tells you he is seeing someone else
  • The softboy is not a real knight
It's hard to imagine a guy more irritating and painful than the classic "handsome and damned." But believe it or not, there is one out there. He is known as the softboy, and he seems to be the exact opposite of the jerk who broke your heart. He is kind, he seems so in love and sweet. But he will rip your heart out, sleep with all your girlfriends and make you want to wring his neck.

What is a softboy

The softboy is the tender boy that usually few of us considered. In school he was the typical loser in love, because no one wanted him as he was too sweet and not too "damned." But when we take a disappointment from the handsome guy on duty, who do we run to? Of course, from the softboy we have treated as a friend for years. Because he is sweet, he can understand and listen to us, he spurs us on intellectually. The problem with softboys is that they seem so adorably approachable, respectful and sweet. They seem so ready to commit, and that's why they're so obnoxiously brutal when you're dealing with them. Not sure if the guy you're dating is a softboy? Look for these warning signs the next time you see him.

Criticizes his ex

He will often tell you about the terrible, horrible, bad heartache his ex gave him right after meeting him. He might even talk about how committed he was to her, only then she left him and broke his heart into many little pieces. In general, a guy who talks about his ex in this way is often harmful to you. Softboys do this so they can show how sensitive they are. Also, they hope you will console them. Too bad they then disappear. If you get upset about this, he will not call you a psychopath. Rather, he will give you puppy-dog eyes and say he is so sorry. Then he will disappear again. And again. And again. Until you realize that he is not a softboy at all.

The softboy tells you that he is an artist.

The softboy is educated, intelligent, loves art. He may even be an artist-for-hire. However, he will often use this role of his as an excuse when he realizes that you would like him to engage with you. Most of the time he will tell you that he needs to "focus on his art."

He makes you feel like a monster if you get mad at him

You find yourself feeling bad for yelling at him, even when he just backed down for no reason. You can't get mad at him. He makes you feel like a monster because of it. The softboy is a master at handling guilt and may even be better at it than your mother.

The softboy is a pseudo-romantic

The softboy is the kind of man who will send you clips of your favorite movie, videos of romantic songs, but will be quick to tell you that the two of you are "just friends." He will cook for you and hold you all night long, but he will insist that there is no way you two will end up together forever. After all, you are just friends. Maybe friends in bed.

He tells you he is seeing someone else

Unlike the beautiful and damned, the softboy is honest about the fact that he is seeing someone else. But that doesn't mean he won't tie you down. In fact, he will usually tell you that "it will never work out with her" or that "it's really not serious yet." He may even introduce you to each other and try to turn you against each other. He may be doing this to upset you, and if you try to discuss it with him, he will tell you that you are being unreasonable. He will apologize, maybe complain, and then tell you that it is "so hard to choose."

The softboy is not a real gentleman

He will regularly talk about how important it is to treat a girl well or how chivalrous he is. He will tell you how hard his mother worked to teach him right from wrong, but it is not hard to see that his words do not really match his actions. Although he is not completely rude, he is strangely indifferent to women who clearly like him. If you then ask him if he is going to commit to you, he will hesitate and then say, "Yes...eventually." In other words, he keeps telling you that a committed relationship is in the very distant future. Strangely, he never bothers to tell you that it will be just "with you."
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