Are you in love with a softboy? Here's how to figure it out
- What is a softboy
- He criticizes his ex
- The softboy tells you he is an artist
- He makes you feel like a monster if you get mad at him
- The softboy is a pseudo-romantic
- He tells you he is seeing someone else
- The softboy is not a real knight
It's hard to imagine a guy more irritating and painful than the classic "handsome and damned." But believe it or not, there is one out there. He is known as the softboy, and he seems to be the exact opposite of the jerk who broke your heart. He is kind, he seems so in love and sweet. But he will rip your heart out, sleep with all your girlfriends and make you want to wring his neck.
What is a softboy
The softboy is the tender boy that usually few of us considered. In school he was the typical loser in love, because no one wanted him as he was too sweet and not too "damned." But when we take a disappointment from the handsome guy on duty, who do we run to? Of course, from the softboy we have treated as a friend for years. Because he is sweet, he can understand and listen to us, he spurs us on intellectually. The problem with softboys is that they seem so adorably approachable, respectful and sweet. They seem so ready to commit, and that's why they're so obnoxiously brutal when you're dealing with them. Not sure if the guy you're dating is a softboy? Look for these warning signs the next time you see him.
Criticizes his ex
He will often tell you about the terrible, horrible, bad heartache his ex gave him right after meeting him. He might even talk about how committed he was to her, only then she left him and broke his heart into many little pieces. In general, a guy who talks about his ex in this way is often harmful to you. Softboys do this so they can show how sensitive they are. Also, they hope you will console them. Too bad they then disappear. If you get upset about this, he will not call you a psychopath. Rather, he will give you puppy-dog eyes and say he is so sorry. Then he will disappear again. And again. And again. Until you realize that he is not a softboy at all.
The softboy tells you that he is an artist.
The softboy is educated, intelligent, loves art. He may even be an artist-for-hire. However, he will often use this role of his as an excuse when he realizes that you would like him to engage with you. Most of the time he will tell you that he needs to "focus on his art."
He makes you feel like a monster if you get mad at him
You find yourself feeling bad for yelling at him, even when he just backed down for no reason. You can't get mad at him. He makes you feel like a monster because of it. The softboy is a master at handling guilt and may even be better at it than your mother.
The softboy is a pseudo-romantic
The softboy is the kind of man who will send you clips of your favorite movie, videos of romantic songs, but will be quick to tell you that the two of you are "just friends." He will cook for you and hold you all night long, but he will insist that there is no way you two will end up together forever. After all, you are just friends. Maybe friends in bed.
He tells you he is seeing someone else
Unlike the beautiful and damned, the softboy is honest about the fact that he is seeing someone else. But that doesn't mean he won't tie you down. In fact, he will usually tell you that "it will never work out with her" or that "it's really not serious yet." He may even introduce you to each other and try to turn you against each other. He may be doing this to upset you, and if you try to discuss it with him, he will tell you that you are being unreasonable. He will apologize, maybe complain, and then tell you that it is "so hard to choose."
The softboy is not a real gentleman
He will regularly talk about how important it is to treat a girl well or how chivalrous he is. He will tell you how hard his mother worked to teach him right from wrong, but it is not hard to see that his words do not really match his actions. Although he is not completely rude, he is strangely indifferent to women who clearly like him. If you then ask him if he is going to commit to you, he will hesitate and then say, "Yes...eventually." In other words, he keeps telling you that a committed relationship is in the very distant future. Strangely, he never bothers to tell you that it will be just "with you."
