5 things we can do if our partner doesn't listen to us
Why don't we feel heard by our beloved? Are we really good at letting them know how we feel? Communication in a couple's relationship is the foundation. Here's what to do if our partner doesn't listen to us
- Speak freely
- What do you mean by never take anything for granted?
- How can I be a good interlocutor?
- What does it mean when your partner doesn't listen to you?
- How do you work on self-esteem?
Is there anything better than being loved, understood and accepted for who you are? No, love is the best thing. Within the couple, the desire to feel heard and respected is a given. Without the feeling of being able to express freely, solid love cannot be built. If these prerequisites are missing, it is difficult to let go. But what to do if the partner does not listen?
Communicating freely and exposing desires and feelings is the basis of any relationship. Perhaps listening and understanding the other person is precisely the most important thing for lasting love. The only convenient way to get to know each other, and to be known, is to open to dialogue, to confront each other, to listen. Learning to love each other requires communication.
Speak freely
We often think we are being crystal clear -- but we are not. There are many reasons why communicating is difficult: fear of the other person's reaction, struggling to find words, shyness. One should not let oneself get stuck though. It happens sometimes to feel guilty or not legitimized to express one's thoughts.
This should never happen, in front of your partner you should always feel accepted, let go, try. Your reaction will be a test after all. If the way the other person responds intimidates you, perhaps you should reevaluate the person in front of you.
What do you mean by never take anything for granted?
The second piece of advice we want to give you is to never take anything for granted when expressing a desire or discomfort. Everyone's perception and thinking is so unique that each of us works with different thought patterns. A thousand different implications can be deduced from a single sentence, depending on your point of view. So do not leave unsaid, do not assume that the other person understands the importance that certain words have for you, always explain everything.
It may sound trivial, but subjective and personal experiences weigh differently on everyone's experience. Your partner has not experienced all the feelings, traumas and milestones that you have accrued, so try to offer him or her your point of view in a clear manner.
How can I be a good interlocutor?
Sometimes we stop on our positions because we feel attacked, misunderstood and judged. But are we really listening to the other person? When anger and frustration take over, it is easy to lose sight of objectivity and defend one's reasons rather than confronting each other in a sincere and open way. Listening to the needs of the loved one can also help us understand how to deal with the issue assertively.
Sometimes putting pride aside and trying to understand the partner's reasons may be the only way. The feeling of not being heard by the better half is really distressing. The very person who should most support us walls us up, this of course generates suffering. But do not fall into the trap of desiring listening in a one-sided way, putting your partner's needs aside.
What does it mean when your partner doesn't listen to you?
There is no easy solution to this question. If the person in front of you doesn't listen, doesn't understand, doesn't spend time with you, you must first of all understand the reason for his or her behavior. He may simply be the wrong person, as he does not share interests and sensitivities with you. In such cases it is good to evaluate the whole relationship. In case your partner does not listen to you, does not believe you, or even ridicules what you say. The only way is to end the relationship before irreparably undermining your self-esteem.
Perhaps it may be a difficult time for your loved one instead. Or the issues you are bringing into the couple are too great and your partner does not have the tools to help you. In that case, couples therapy may be the solution. Going through a psychological journey together, followed by a therapist, will make you understand each other better, intensifying the relationship and your intimacy.
How do you work on self-esteem?
It may seem like obvious advice, but increasing your self-esteem and feeling good about yourself is the only way to make a relationship work. When you have sufficient self-esteem you feel less under judgment, less exposed to each other, and this helps you communicate better with your partner.
The concept of self-esteem is related to that of assertiveness. In fact, being assertive means being able to communicate without too many mental reservations, without being harnessed by feelings of inferiority or even narcissistically pleasing oneself and experiencing the relationship with others in a hostile way. Working on self-esteem will help you in every aspect of your life, from love, to friendships, but also in work and in your relationship with yourself.
There is no easy decalogue of what to do if your partner does not listen, but you should always work on the specific case, investigating the reasons for the behavior and the dynamics of the couple. Improving communication is always a good exercise for a lasting and happy love relationship.
