Toxic relationships: 5 alarm bells not to be overlooked
You have only been together for a few days and already he has told you that he loves you. One day he lavishes you with compliments and the next he compares you to his ex. Today he wants to marry you and tomorrow he won't answer the phone. Are you sure you are not experiencing one of those toxic relationships we often hear about? Here are some signs to help you get to safety
- Can someone be happy in a toxic relationship?
- What does burning the candle at both ends mean in relationship?
- What does it mean when a guy keeps comparing you to his ex?
- Is a controlling relationship toxic?
- What does it mean when someone tries to isolate you?
- Why does my relationship feel like a roller coaster?
You've found the man who seems made just for you: he's caring, kind, he tells you right away that he's serious. A warning bell rings in your head, though: what if it's one of those toxic relationships you hear more and more about? He is too perfect, but sometimes he behaves strangely, and you feel restless. Often our instincts warn us, but we don't always know how to listen to our deepest feelings. Yet, if we did we could discover in time the signs that warn us that what we are venturing into is an unhealthy love. But what are these signs?
Can someone be happy in a toxic relationship?
There are several situations that make us realize that the one we are living in is a toxic relationship. Certainly, if we are hurting, if we feel unhappy, if we don't feel free to be ourselves, it means that something is wrong in the relationship. If he doesn't respect you, he doesn't appreciate you, he belittles you or belittles your words and feelings, if he makes you feel bad, tries to manipulate you and make you feel bad about anything, you are experiencing toxic love. It would be good to run away at once, although leaving him is not easy. In fact, we often fall victim to a kind of emotional addiction, which pushes us to seek justifications for his behaviors or to delude ourselves that we can change him or turn things around. That is why it is important to realize early on when a relationship is wrong, so that we can prevent instead of cure. Here are five alarm bells that signal we are experiencing toxic love.
What does burning the candle at both ends mean in relationship?
You've only known each other for a short time, yet he runs at lightning speed. You've only been together a few days and already he considers you the woman of his life. He shower you with gifts, flowers, sweet thoughts, little messages. After not even a week, he has already told you that he loves you. Not that love at first sight is not possible, far from it. But if he runs too fast, if he overwhelms you with his attention to the nth degree, you would do well to be a little on guard. Often toxic relationships begin with behavior that is a bit over the top, with a real love bombardment and a tendency to skip all the steps. So he sweeps you off your feet and then keeps you in his grasp. Real love, healthy love, does not run so fast, but is built over time, giving each other time to get to know each other. Be wary of someone who runs and tells you I love you right away: he may be a narcissist who just wants to manipulate you.
What does it mean when a guy keeps comparing you to his ex?
Until yesterday he was super sweet and showered you with gifts and compliments. Today, all of a sudden, he compares you to his ex. Obviously, she was better than you. He doesn't do it directly; he just throws in a few barbs here and there. One word now, one later. And, in the meantime, he insinuates within you the doubt that you are not his match. He makes you feel insecure, competing, trying to trigger your jealousy. If you react, and perhaps argue, he is likely to apologize. For a few days he goes back to being loving as in the beginning, then again he tells you that she was so perfect. Which is not good for you. Needless to say: it's one of those toxic relationships you've read about or heard about maybe on TV. Run away from it now.
Is a controlling relationship toxic?
Jealousy is one thing, control freakiness is another. If you feel perpetually watched, if he demands to know everything you do during the day, who you talk to, which colleague you go out to lunch with, who you exchange messages with on WhatsApp, he is not jealous: he is trying to control you. If he sends you dozens or hundreds of messages during the day full of questions about what you are doing, demands to video call you to make sure you are really with your friends, gets irritated if you don't answer his phone as soon as it rings, it's not an excess of attention: he wants to control you, then maybe manipulate you. It is a sign that you are struggling with toxic love. Save yourself.
What does it mean when someone tries to isolate you?
Spending every weekend together is nice, but never having the chance to hang out with your friends is toxic. If he tries to isolate you, tells you that the people you were dating before you met him don't like him, makes excuses to keep you away from your parents and your sisters or brothers, be on the lookout: it could be a sign that you're in one of those toxic relationships that scare your friends so much. It's one thing to want you all to himself and let you know how much he cares about your love, it's another to try to isolate you from the world so he can control and manipulate you. Stop him now.
Why does my relationship feel like a roller coaster?
You really don't get it: yesterday he was head over heels in love, every doesn't have time to go out with you. The next day it's all rosy and maybe he's talking to you about marriage, the next he doesn't even answer his phone. He's not confused, he's a narcissist trying to keep you on the edge so he can get chased and have all your attention. He makes you live on a roller coaster because he knows that by doing so, you will fall further and further into the net until you can't get out. Leave him, and maybe get help from your friends, family or an expert to get you out of this toxic love.
